A very thoughtful question. My little brother usually wears a regular cap with the name of a trucking company on it. On gamedays he gets all liquored up and wears a bucket hat with "Mark 14:52" on it. Then he lives it out, as one should.
I think it would be best if we get Carson Heddon one of those plastic loungers you see at motel poolsides. That way when the ball is hiked to him he can already be prone and not have such a long way to reach his fated destination.
Here's the point: The Paladins should adopt a non-lawnchair oriented offensive line plan. That way Carson Heddon can have some time and room to make decisions without the dire physical consequence of someone looking like my little brother coming at him from out of the woods amidst the wailing and lamentations of all the fauna that had just been so terribly traumatized. ...Or a task-driven defensive lineman, whichever may apply in the given circumstances. In short, we haven't given Carson Heddon a fair shot yet. Even the great Frankie Lamb couldn't show his stuff with the ordure we so far have provided.
Didn't think the UFFP would have me back, perhaps. Well, maybe I'm not "the norm". I don't "wear clothes that fit me". I'm not "hygienic" and "pop my white heads with a compass I used in high school".