Furman at Mississippi Negative Nancy

[FUTex]

How can I be so blind! That photo was taken, obviously, in Lafayette County Mississippi. And look closely a foot above the upper racoon. What is that blur? It appears to the more seasoned eye a phantasm, mayhaps a possum ghost. Maybe even that of the late Madine, the greatest most trashy possum ever.

A Mr. or Ms. J F Waters. Hmm. Am I suspicious? You betcha.

I'm going to dig a little deeper on who (or whom) killed Madine. If you look at the inexplicable set of things that one has to believe to accept that Madine died of unknown causes at just that time... the odds are just too great that a most evil conspiracy is afoot.

We need to seek vengeance on those bastages from Ole' Miss that killed our beloved possum!

[FUBeAR]

Another email from JFwater … this time with a link to this video X-post.

Think that’s a river otter and a raccoon in a sewer in Lafayette County, MS. Can’t tell if it’s inter-species sexualis or is that otter lookin’ for a happy masked meal.

There’s a message here. FUBeAR cain’t cipher it out though…

[FUTex]

That's inter-species assault, without a doubt, and of the sexualis type. It makes me ashamed to be a mammal.

If you've ever been unfortunate enough to see ducks mating you will realize how abhorrent nature is.

[FUTex]

At first I was looking into the possibility of this suspicious JFWater being the trigger man who killed Madine. I was halfway through writing my book, "The Men Who Killed Madine", when I thought maybe, just maybe, this otter vs racoon vicious rivalry is akin to a Biblical parable. Or maybe its real Old Testament stuff. That led to a re-dive into The Book of Daniel (again), which leads me back to the number three...

Now Fred Garvin is set to launch Project HFJF on August 30. The place will be CDT, which is a time zone. By coincidence, I am also in a time zone. The eerie parallels just keep adding up.

Could there be, and I'm just asking, any relation between JF Water and HFJF? They both have the letters JF in them.

At this point all we can say is the University of Mississippi had a role in killing our possum. We must seek cold vengeance.

[FUTex]

This just in... brace yourself...

The mysterious JFWater has been determined to be a certain Joey Freshwater, a nefarious lounge lizard preying upon the unsuspecting in and around Oxford Mississippi.

What we know so far: Joey Freshwater killed Madine.

I will build a mojo around "Justice for Madine". Other salient mojos include Project HFJF, which could stand for High Fat Junk Food... its enigmatic, and likely black magic. We got Violent Finns (sounds like a rock group) making a mojo in the UP, and of course the positive thoughts and imaginings of Alexander Stubb beating a possum to death with a golf club. Things are shaping up.

FAMNN BATT CCLOT

[Affirm]

Lane Kiffin became the Head Coach of Ole Miss Rebels Football in 2020, so this is his 5th season.
There have been 11 other head coaches there since Johnny Vaught left after the 1970 season.
Of all Ole Miss head coaches, only Johnny Vaught has a higher winning percentage (.745 in 26 years) at Ole Miss than Lane Kiffin presently has (.639 in 4 years).
(Actually Billy Kinard's winning percentage is .640, which Lane Kiffin should be expected to exceed by the end of the 2024 season. Billy Kinard was head coach in 1971 and 1972. Kinard was fired after the 3rd game of the 1973 season, and Johnny Vaught came back to fill the head coach position for the remainder of that season.)
Lane Kiffin's biggest win against any FCS team so far has been 9/2/2023, when Ole Miss beat Mercer 73-7.
(Will Furman finish the game within 66 points?)
... Ole Miss has had numerous familiar names in their Head Football Coach position over the years.
In addition to Johnny Vaught and Lane Kiffin, head coaches there have included Harry Mehre, Steve Sloan, Billy Brewer, Joe Lee Dunn, Tommy Tuberville, David Cutcliffe, Ed Orgeron, Houston Nutt, and Hugh Breeze.
...With respect and wishing condolence to all family and friends, it is here noted that Lane Monte Kiffin lost his dad on July 11, 2024. Monte George Kiffin died in Oxford, Mississippi, at age 84. (By the way, Monte Kiffin was the NC State Head Football Coach when NCSU beat Furman 26-0 on 9/4/82. Dates when Furman beat NC State included 9/4/76, 9/15/84, and 9/28/85. )

[tim]

I never realized Monte Kiffin was Lane's dad. Condolences.

[FUTex]

I'm sorry for Lane Kiffin's loss, but that does not excuse him for killing our possum. I mean, what kind of person kills an innocent critter in such a pre-meditated fashion? Has he no decency? And he didn't do it in a gentle humane way, say with a trebuchet or a golf club... no, he sent a heat wave and baked our dear Madine.

I visited Madine's memorial/gravesite today. A somber event, to be sure. Its located about fifteen yards into the woods out back where I chucked her stinking corpse a week or so ago. The predation on her remains appears nonexistent, so I inspected more closely to see if we had a miracle of an incorruptible corpse. But no - There is the presence of organic decay (which as Ridgeway used to say is "the ultimate striptease"). I stood there for several minutes in amazement at just how gross the biological world is, and how nasty the mojo we have built to defeat those possum-killing bastages of Ol' Miss.

[tim]

Oh, I have been grieving Madine. She had become like a family member.

[FUBeAR]

Oh, I have been grieving Madine. She had become like a family member.

Indeed.

Paraphrasing of the immortal words of the Bard of Yoknapatawpha County ring, incessantly, in FUBeAR’s very little brain…


"I heard that [Madine] is dead. I wish I had time to let her die. I wish I had time to wish I had. It is because the wild and outraged earth too soon too soon too soon."

[FUTex]

Oh, I have been grieving Madine. She had become like a family member.

Indeed.

Paraphrasing of the immortal words of the Bard of Yoknapatawpha County ring, incessantly, in FUBeAR’s very little brain…


"I heard that [Madine] is dead. I wish I had time to let her die. I wish I had time to wish I had. It is because the wild and outraged earth too soon too soon too soon."

Madine's paternal ancestry was from Yoknapatawpha County, meaning they were Mississippi Meth possums. All of 'em. They never read Faulkner.

Madine's maternal ancestry were genuine Myrtle Beach Vomit-Eatin' possums. Madine's mom was a real ho-wer, just wantonly swinging them thirteen teets to and fro.

I miss my dear Madine so. Yet she died as she lived: nasty, odorous, and shockingly promiscuous.

[FUBeAR]

An Ole Miss WHITE-Out … for a night game in Oxford…REALLY? REALLY!!

They have quite some history of WHITE-Outs at night @ Ole Miss…Hopefully, they won’t be holding a pre- or post-game ‘bonfire’ at The Grove as part of their celebration of their, um, history.

From a karma perspective, this poorly-thought-out decision has to be a huge benefit for our Paladins.

What, though, is the impact, if any, of their ‘self-own’ attire-theme decision on our mojo preparation?

[FUTex]

Ole Miss's "white out" plays right into the mojo's hands. There are so many layers to this I wouldn't know where to start.

Would anyone know what uniforms the Paladins plan to wear in Oxford?

Madine was white. Sure, there was some gray in there. But more white than gray. All fluffy and so ugly she was cute. Five pounds of marsupial agape. She died doing what she loved: Defecating in a dog crate.

I would like to give the Paladins the pre-game pep talk. I'd stand next to a large screen displaying a slideshow of the dozens of photos I took of Madine, with a Karen Carpenter song softly playing in the background. I'd wait until there wasn't a dry eye in the locker room, then say "These bastages killed our possum. Their fans are dressed in white to taunt us over it. Now what are we going to do about it?" The music would change to very loud AC/DC, and I betcha the Paladins would blow the door frame asunder to get to that field. No one abuses our possum and gets away with it.

[FUBeAR]

Would anyone know what uniforms the Paladins plan to wear in Oxford?

Traditionally - and Coach Hendrix is a traditionalist - on the road vs. FBS opponents, our Knights make their appearance well-known in the crisp, but feared, white-on-white crowned by a white headpiece with facemask covering the heads of our warriors for the cause.

Thus, most likely, we will be whiting out their WHITE-Out.

When our loyal Sons of the South Carolina upstate storm out of that locker room, to the dynamic strains of Bon Scott’s (and Tex’s) voice, resplendent, terrifying, and shocking in their gleaming pure white; angry, vengeful eyes aglow behind their facemasks; insanely incensed over what those less-than-human no-good Mississippi boys did to our white(ish) possum-woman, Madine, it will be quite a spectacle.

What will the WHITE-Out participating Ole Miss faithful do upon witnessing this rousing march of our own white-clad men into their domicile on that sultry dark night? Might they join in with the Furman Knights and aid our assault?

Is that how the mojo will work?

[FUTex]

Yessir, that's how the mojo will play out. We're a cinch to win now.