Furman at Montana Negative Nancy Thread

[Fred Garvin]

Fred anticipates success tomorrow morning. Three 12 ounce cups of strong Cafe Bustillo tomorrow morning will be the final exit strategy....

Also, I spoke with David Bennett yesterday to get us another level of mojo. He said Clay ain't got no cats! He got dogs!

[FUDude]

I asked the people I was with if there are any possums in Montana, they said they didn't thinks so but asked if squirrel could be an emergency replacement? There are squirrels all over the place in this town.

[FUTex]

Thank you FUDude for your research. Good work. However, a squirrel will not suffice. It has to be a possum, a Virginius Didelphis to be exact. It is North America's only marsupial, a vile critter with heinous anal glands, and one that folks from Montana have no known natural immunity to.

I think we can still pull together a fairly good mojo. Fred Garvin is eating, his guts are moving, and he's planned some good coffee for tomorrow. And the Mayor of Possum Kingdom will be onsite in Missoula to guide the mojo where it needs to be at the correct times.

[FUDude]

Thank you FUDude for your research. Good work. However, a squirrel will not suffice. It has to be a possum, a Virginius Didelphis to be exact. It is North America's only marsupial, a vile critter with heinous anal glands, and one that folks from Montana have no known natural immunity to.

I think we can still pull together a fairly good mojo. Fred Garvin is eating, his guts are moving, and he's planned some good coffee for tomorrow. And the Mayor of Possum Kingdom will be onsite in Missoula to guide the mojo where it needs to be at the correct times.

Thank you very much for your wisdom and guidance on this intriguing topic that I unfortunately had no previous knowledge of. This leads me to an interesting question I thing you may be able to answer.

Would said marsupial, if released into the wild in Missoula soon take over the entire place due to its superior intellect and athleticism? I have read comments from the common posters on their message board. I have to believe a single possum just might possess that entire boards cumulative intellect?

So how hard would it be for a newly released possum to own/run that city in 5 years? Would it even want to live there?

Am I wrong or right?

P.S. I apologize for my lack of knowledge in the area of Possumometry, but I am a quick study with the correct tutelage

[Bootie]

Bro and I just took a walk down the trail by the river. It takes you past the stadium and beside the mountains on the former railroad track bed. We left a few gifts for the Montana Little People. We also have a with us some candy and will be placing it in various spots for them. I’m feeling good about this.

[Bootie]

DPLOT…

Did you know the nearby town of Lolo has within it Travelers Rest State Park?? Well it does. And we are enroute, spreading mojo and voodoo all along Hwy 12 and back.

[FUTex]

Excellent work Bootie! The Little People, like Mongo, love candy. We now have them on our side.

FUDude, you have entered the world's foremost repository of knowledge of Possumry. Welcome to our dojo. The opossum has the lowest brain mass to body weight ratio of any mammal on the planet. ON THE PLANET! Its very intellectual disabilities ends up being the firm bedrock upon which its advantages spring forth. Now to answer your question directly - It would take two possums to eventually take over an area, one nonbinary female and one cisgender problematic male. Their huge litter size of 16-25 and short gestation period (12-14 days) is offset by their max lifespan of only two years. All that being said, the possums will never take over Montana. Its not the cold or lack of food sources (they'll eat garbage and have a fondness for vomit); no, its that sasquatches love to eat possums, so they end up being all gobbled up just as quick as they start poking about looking for things to mess up. Every state where there's an infestation of sasquatches, like Montana, has a dearth of possums.

[FUDude]

Excellent work Bootie! The Little People, like Mongo, love candy. We now have them on our side.

FUDude, you have entered the world's foremost repository of knowledge of Possumry. Welcome to our dojo. The opossum has the lowest brain mass to body weight ratio of any mammal on the planet. ON THE PLANET! Its very intellectual disabilities ends up being the firm bedrock upon which its advantages spring forth. Now to answer your question directly - It would take two possums to eventually take over an area, one nonbinary female and one cisgender problematic male. Their huge litter size of 16-25 and short gestation period (12-14 days) is offset by their max lifespan of only two years. All that being said, the possums will never take over Montana. Its not the cold or lack of food sources (they'll eat garbage and have a fondness for vomit); no, its that sasquatches love to eat possums, so they end up being all gobbled up just as quick as they start poking about looking for things to mess up. Every state where there's an infestation of sasquatches, like Montana, has a dearth of possums.

Thank you for the knowledge dump.

Speaking of sasquatches, you are wise beyond your years. Walking around town the last 2 nights has given me a vantage point few down south have. The women in this town, how shall I say it are "built for the farm". This is exactly what you were eluding to in your post about prime possum habitat never finding fruition in the Rockies. They most assuredly would be consumed by the squatch pop in the vicinity

[FUTex]

FUDude, you have keen observation skills. While it is true that the Rockies, say from Colorado up through Montana then west through Washington, have an abundance of the "earth mother" look for women, my experience is they get really really angry when you point that out. The most extreme of the earth mother crowd, the sasquatch, is not to be toyed with. Do not make eye contact. They will try to lay with you in carnal sin. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Our ultimate warrior in the field, Bootie, deserves a medal. A man of more courage undaunted I have never met.

Fred Garvin, did you eat hearty yesterday and today?

[FurmAlum]

POSSUM ALERT!

I was looking out the bay window in the back of our house this afternoon right before dark and saw a possum rooting thru the garbage can. I promise I'm not making this up. I quickly got on my camouflage gear I use for hunting and raced outside with my wife's iron skillet. I disturbed him from eating his gourmet meal of week old barbeque with a side of rat vomit, and he was none too happy. He slimed me twice and then bit me on the wrist. I chased him across the back yard and conked him on the head with the skillet. Then I dragged him by the tail into the garage and put him in one of the shipping boxes that my wife's insulin comes in. I made a quick trip to the local UPS store just before it closed and shipped him UPS overnight to Missoula. The clerk asked me if the box contained any hazardous material or perishables. I said just an unconscious possum, I don't think he's hazardous and surely hope he doesn't perish. She said no problem. I addressed it to:

Bootie
General Delivery
c/o The Montana Club
4561 N Reserve St
Missoula,MT 59808

Instructions are in the box. If he's alive put him in a cage and await Bootie or if Bootie is not available preferably a former Furman player to keep. If dead, put him on ice. And see above.

Oh no, I hope I haven't gone to all this trouble for nothing. He is a Tennessee possum. Will that work? Or does it have to be an S.C. possum?

I'm at the hospital now getting a Rabies shot.

[FUTex]

EXCELLENT work FurmAlum! The Tennessee possum is notoriously foul, and perhaps the best possum there is.

"My wife's insulin" packaging was a nice touch. Very nice.

Boys and girls, we have a possum in Missoula. Bootie may not be able to get his hands on it, but there will be a possum in the vicinity by gametime.

[cavedweller2]

Bro and I just took a walk down the trail by the river. It takes you past the stadium and beside the mountains on the former railroad track bed. We left a few gifts for the Montana Little People. We also have a with us some candy and will be placing it in various spots for them. I’m feeling good about this.

Don’t forget gifts for Sasquatch. You never know.

[cavedweller2]

POSSUM ALERT!

I was looking out the bay window in the back of our house this afternoon right before dark and saw a possum rooting thru the garbage can. I promise I'm not making this up. I quickly got on my camouflage gear I use for hunting and raced outside with my wife's iron skillet. I disturbed him from eating his gourmet meal of week old barbeque with a side of rat vomit, and he was none too happy. He slimed me twice and then bit me on the wrist. I chased him across the back yard and conked him on the head with the skillet. Then I dragged him by the tail into the garage and put him in one of the shipping boxes that my wife's insulin comes in. I made a quick trip to the local UPS store just before it closed and shipped him UPS overnight to Missoula. The clerk asked me if the box contained any hazardous material or perishables. I said just an unconscious possum, I don't think he's hazardous and surely hope he doesn't perish. She said no problem. I addressed it to:

Bootie
General Delivery
c/o The Montana Club
4561 N Reserve St
Missoula,MT 59808

Instructions are in the box. If he's alive put him in a cage and await Bootie or if Bootie is not available preferably a former Furman player to keep. If dead, put him on ice. And see above.

Oh no, I hope I haven't gone to all this trouble for nothing. He is a Tennessee possum. Will that work? Or does it have to be an S.C. possum?

I'm at the hospital now getting a Rabies shot.

Wasted time at the hospital brother. Possums don’t carry rabies. Otherwise GREAT JOB. Montanan’s don’t know the difference twixt a Tennessee or a Travelers Rest Possum. They in for it now especially since it was eating rat vomit. Vomit eating possums hiss at you and are capable of extreme violence. Plastic baseball bats are no protection. And you sent one to Missoula. Well done.

[Bootie]

Great work, y'all, the mojo for this game is shaping up nicely! I'm looking forward to tricking a griz into a conversation about the Little People tomorrow.

[cavedweller2]

Look for a Grizz fan wearing a Grizz jersey. He can be tricked.