The Unofficial Furman Football Page

Keep me laughing guys.

Well, we're at home so Paris Mountain provides the covering mojo. On the bad side, we ain't got no possum no more thanks to the very deceitful Lane Kiffin, who is a very bad person.

As some of you may recall, Doc and I closed an evil portal in Charleston back in 2003 or so. It was actually on Sullivan's Island. The looks on the faces of the locals as two middle-aged men in purple shirts did a little dance around a circle of candles... I shouldn't brag, but I thought my gyrations were particularly disturbing. We slammed that evil portal shut.

Any ideas for the mojo?

I'ma coming down from parts unknown to watch.

I have never come from out of state to watch a Furman Football game and seen them lose.

Take the lock boys.

Awesome FUATT! You travelling to the game from out-of-state sets up a powerful mojo.

I want to point out that Charleston Southern lacks both proper theology and geography. They are associated with the South Carolina Baptist Convention, which is not clear on the concept of Unconditional Election, and I don't know how to feel about that. They also make no reference to Boethius "Consolation of Philosophy" on their website. As to geography, their name implies they are Southern and in Charleston, yet they are in fact over 17 miles NORTHWEST from Charleston in the northern tip of the City of North Charleston next to Goose Creek. The whole deal with that school is suspicious. I bet their football team will try some shifty stuff.

FUTex wrote: ↑

Tue Sep 03, 2024 5:20 pm

I bet their football team will try some shifty stuff.

Like trying to win. Can't allow it!

Its not just that Charleston Southern will try to win, its the WAY they'll try to win. They are known (and I hope I'm not speaking out of turn here) to try to score more points than their opposition over the course of four quarters. Man, that really grinds my gears. These Charleston Southern boys know nothing about Reformed Theology. They might as well be Santa Ana's army the way they go about things.

There's moles in my backyard. I bought these little gummy worms to put in the active tunnels. Here's the funny part: They're all poisoned! Poisoned at the factory, put in a box, I bought them, and deliberately fed them to the moles. Now there's decaying mole bodies buried all around my backyard. Now that's a powerful boost to the mojo.

On an important side note, I have been increasingly interested in the weather in Mexico lately. Their meteorologists are top-notch. Search "Mexican Weather Reporter" in Youtube and let's all be thankful for the cutting edge of atmospheric science in Mexico.

Bootie, are you doing anything? We need some help here.

Sorry… I’ve got some things in the pot, brewing… also getting some promising data from a few Ouija board sessions.

Thank you Bootie.

Also, I spoke with Doc last night. He suspects that another Evil Portal direct from the Netherworld has opened up somewhere. He is researching just where it could be.

FUTex wrote: ↑

Fri Sep 06, 2024 9:18 am

Thank you Bootie.

Also, I spoke with Doc last night. He suspects that another Evil Portal direct from the Netherworld has opened up somewhere. He is researching just where it could be.

I knew it. things were all out of whack last night on the Ouija board. I’ll get the HAM radio going tonight and put the word out across the globe. We’ll have that portal closed before midnight.

Bootie wrote: ↑

Fri Sep 06, 2024 2:49 pm

FUTex wrote: ↑

Fri Sep 06, 2024 9:18 am

Thank you Bootie.

Also, I spoke with Doc last night. He suspects that another Evil Portal direct from the Netherworld has opened up somewhere. He is researching just where it could be.

I knew it. things were all out of whack last night on the Ouija board. I’ll get the HAM radio going tonight and put the word out across the globe. We’ll have that portal closed before midnight.

Am that radio reach Finland? … or …

…since they now have a Furman as President, they are changing the name of their country to F’inland … FUBeAR hears.

FUBeAR wrote: ↑

Fri Sep 06, 2024 3:44 pm

Bootie wrote: ↑

Fri Sep 06, 2024 2:49 pm

FUTex wrote: ↑

Fri Sep 06, 2024 9:18 am

Thank you Bootie.

Also, I spoke with Doc last night. He suspects that another Evil Portal direct from the Netherworld has opened up somewhere. He is researching just where it could be.

I knew it. things were all out of whack last night on the Ouija board. I’ll get the HAM radio going tonight and put the word out across the globe. We’ll have that portal closed before midnight.

Am that radio reach Finland? … or …

…since they now have a Furman as President, they are changing the name of their country to F’inland … FUBeAR hears.

When the atmospheric conditions are right I can bounce my signals off the ionosphere and it be like a satellite relay!

Bootie wrote: ↑

Fri Sep 06, 2024 3:50 pm

FUBeAR wrote: ↑

Fri Sep 06, 2024 3:44 pm

Bootie wrote: ↑

Fri Sep 06, 2024 2:49 pm

FUTex wrote: ↑

Fri Sep 06, 2024 9:18 am

Thank you Bootie.

Also, I spoke with Doc last night. He suspects that another Evil Portal direct from the Netherworld has opened up somewhere. He is researching just where it could be.

I knew it. things were all out of whack last night on the Ouija board. I’ll get the HAM radio going tonight and put the word out across the globe. We’ll have that portal closed before midnight.

Am that radio reach Finland? … or …

…since they now have a Furman as President, they are changing the name of their country to F’inland … FUBeAR hears.

When the atmospheric conditions are right I can bounce my signals off the ionosphere and it be like a satellite relay!

That must be the Ninja effect.

So true Flagman. We have the greatest athlete to ever appears in American Ninja, Paris Mountain, and a variety of mojos to be thrown. I think those Paladins are going to be victorious today.

PLUS, I saw a mentally deficient possum last night. He waddled around my neighbor's front yard, most likely looking for some savory vomit to enjoy.

That is a significant signifying event. I too witnessed a possum early this a.m. walking along my neighbors fence. No hissing, no vomit eating, just walking along the fence. Didnt even pay attention to the dog.