aPaladin Negative Nancy Thread for the 2025 Football Season

[FUBeAR]

Look folks, fire is all around us, really. Gas stoves, heaters, the pilot light in home appliances... I even have one of them indoor fireplace things where I can build one. And cars? They're everywhere. I see them on roads all the time. So somewhere the two, fire and cars, are going to eventually run into each other. And Montague Village is a place, so its somewhere. And people are sometimes in cars. I've seen people inside cars, and I bet you have too. I just don't see what the big deal is about a car burning up in Montague Village with someone inside it. It was bound to happen.

Totally agree.

In fact, when FUBeAR was once a proud resident of Villages de Montagu, FUBeAR's next door neighbor, a Chemistry major, caught his own self on fire.

FUBeAR thinks maybe they were playing a baseball video game when this happened, as his roommates were screaming something about a free base when he came running out of their apartment into the parking area ... all AFIRE!.

If he had gotten into a car at that point, FUBeAR believes we woulda seen a presagin' of this most recent event. But he didn't. He began rolling around on the gravelly asphalt parking area and his roommates put the Student Torch (not a Student Athlete) out.

He survived and it wasn't all that bad, but FUBeAR could never, after that event, get him to come over and listen to his Richard Pryor comedy albums. They were hilarious ... Go figure?

[FUTex]

FUBear brings up a solid point. Sometimes people set themselves on fire and go wandering around. Its not polite to others, but they do it. Richard Pryor, Buddhist Monks, grieving Indian widows, my imaginary pet monkey... all have set themselves on fire.

So someone in or near Montague Village committed self-immolation. No big deal if that's all there was to it. But they very selfishly ran outside and jumped in someone's car and burned the whole thing up. That lacks courtesy.

[cavedweller2]

It is readily apparent that the immolation was destined for Woodwinds but the gates prevented the immolater from accessing the property.

[FUBeAR]

It is readily apparent that the immolation was destined for Woodwinds but the gates prevented the immolater from accessing the property.

Wouldn’t even know about it without those gates.

Burned out cars and dead bodies were l'ordre du jour for Woodwinds.

[cavedweller2]

I fear the burned car at Montague Village is a foreshadowing event. It looks like there are now gates at the entrances to Woodwinds. Are they to keep the inmates in or people out? Confusing, puzzling, mystifying. Where is Lex when you need him? Woodwinds, a gated community of luxury living! Yeh, that’s it.

This gated Woodwinds thing has me befuddled. I did some recon yesterday and it is even more bizarre than I originally thought. There is one way in and one way out. One gate closed and marked entrance only. Other gate closed and marked exit only. Also looked like a '63 Falcon parked in the back out to the side of Apt. 85 along the back row but I couldn't get through the gate to check it out.

[FUBeAR]

I fear the burned car at Montague Village is a foreshadowing event. It looks like there are now gates at the entrances to Woodwinds. Are they to keep the inmates in or people out? Confusing, puzzling, mystifying. Where is Lex when you need him? Woodwinds, a gated community of luxury living! Yeh, that’s it.

This gated Woodwinds thing has me befuddled. I did some recon yesterday and it is even more bizarre than I originally thought. There is one way in and one way out. One gate closed and marked entrance only. Other gate closed and marked exit only. Also looked like a '63 Falcon parked in the back out to the side of Apt. 85 along the back row but I couldn't get through the gate to check it out.

Am it now have fences with razor wire on top?

[FUTex]

I got another problem in addition to all these burned-out cars with bodies in 'em.

I can't get a green bean pod through Bifurcated's sphincter and up into his colon. And yes, I've used an airhorn to render him catatonic and greased up the pointy end of the pod. Its just really difficult to do, and half the time I end up breaking the pod in the effort and mushing the beans. Now, if I can't even get the green beans all up in there, how in the world am I expected to get a lima bean pod up there? Riddle me that.

We got like what, three and half months before William and Mary? Folks, there's a lot of work to be done.