aPaladin Negative Nancy Thread for the 2025 Football Season

[The Jackal]

[FUTex]

That, Jackal, is the kind of quality research and documentation that makes the UFFP so valuable to the Paladins. I think our DBs are able to take a quality step forward next season.

Bifurcated update: He seems a little bigger. Its hard to tell. I'd weigh him, but I don't know if he uses the metric system or imperial ounces. Plus, I don't want him to get focused on the number and develop an image problem or eating disorder.

[FUTex]

Just to let everyone know, I've decided not to enter the Portal this year. Last year's transfer attempt was, um, a nightmare. Pullham State showed no interest. As did some others.

[Davemeister]

Your NIL "requirements" must be too steep.

[FUBeAR]

Your NIL "requirements" must be too steep.

It’s his “agent’s” 120% cut that keeps queering the deals.

[FUTex]

My agent, Tom Parker Jr., only requires 50%.

I am getting whispers from the Kennesaw State fan board. They think if I can drum up some mojo then the Owls can improve from the worst team in FBS to not the worst. Its a heady goal, but I think I'd be up to the task. Alas, they haven't indicated there'd be any of that sweet sweet NIL money coming my way.

Bifurcated update: Modest weight gain. Underdeveloped genitalia. Hair still a most unlikely brown.

[FUTex]

I bet this is old news to you guys, but I just discovered that Furman signed a 6'3" 300 pound all-state OL - Brady Smith, Christian Presbyterian Academy, Nashville TN. I think he'll go a long way towards discarding our lawn chair offensive line scheme.

Bifurcated update: Atrocious bowel functions yesterday. Genitalia remains retracted. Starting to see some gray hairs.

[gofurman]

I bet this is old news to you guys, but I just discovered that Furman signed a 6'3" 300 pound all-state OL - Brady Smith, Christian Presbyterian Academy, Nashville TN. I think he'll go a long way towards discarding our lawn chair offensive line scheme.

Bifurcated update: Atrocious bowel functions yesterday. Genitalia remains retracted. Starting to see some gray hairs.

Love it !!! Similar to cowbell … we always want more OL !!!

[gofurman]

We are Furman. We will always be Furman and all that Represents. We finished 3-8 in 1993 but we beat a top 5 blundering turd team on a dreary, joyous, November day. Hollering obscenities and acting completely un Paladin like towards their toothless green clad inbred fans as they had to stream back through us to get to their cars such was the parking situation at the time prior to the construction of Timmons. It was great. That's what I mean.

I was there. LOVED IT !!!

[gofurman]

I've been meaning to bring this up, and I feel like it's of particular importance before we carry on with the pressing topic at hand...

Are we talking about possums or opossums? To this point, the marsupial in question has been the possum. In this day and age, money is tight for most programs in the FCS so it doesn't make much sense to be importing possums from Australia, New Zealand, or China when we have a seemingly endless supply of opossums here in the upstate. Also opossums, being larger and having a hairless tail, seem to be better suited for the firecracker experiment than the smaller bushtail possum. I just want to make sure we're being smart about this and there are no errors due to differences in how we name the above mentioned marsupials. The 2025 season potentially depends on this.

Now, back to the less serious stuff...

I hope that means Stephens waiver has been approved (I have no idea if they would have handled it that quickly). Getting Stephens back would be huge for next year.

With Odom and Gonzalez going into the portal, there are not many QB's coming back with a full year of starting experience (meaning they have 11-12 starts). Crittendon is probably the most experienced QB returning at this point. I guess if Wofford sticks with Sealy he's played a decent amount but not sure how many starts. He's been in and out of the lineup. VMI has several guys with around 1/3 of a year of starting experience at this point I think. Shannon is probably the best of the 3 but he can't seem to stay healthy. Not sure what citadel will do. Maybe another portal guy. One of the young guys from ETSU played a little but I would think the new coach will go after a portal QB there as well. UTC will likely go with Schomberg. WCU would go with Dickens with how the year ended most likely. Mercer most likely sticking with Newbauer, and Furman will have Hedden or Jones most likely who both have 0.5-1 year of starts.

Ok so it sounds like we are not sure about Xavier Stephens? Is that right? Seemed to be a little back and forth there? I sure hope we get him back. Great player.

Super glad to see that Odom left Wofford !!! It appears he is officially gone and at KSU. please correct me if I am wrong !!! That one makes my day. They were a better team with Odom

[gofurman]

Free speech??
Getting a little dramatic aren’t we?
There are fans and there are fair weather fans.
“Fans” who trash the whole secondary or call for a coach to be fired in a game where we beat a nationally ranked team are not fans, IMHO.
This is a public forum that we know players read. If you don’t think that feeling support from fans when a season is tough isn’t important, then we will just have to disagree about human nature. Praise in public and criticize in private has been a lesson my dad taught me a long time ago.

I agree. Support it’s important. It is. You are right.

but I’ve been criticized publicly in an FAR FAR FAR WORSE WAY ( I could show you but I doubt you want to see / support? ) and these are supposed to be TOUGH FOOTBALL PLAYERS. As a great friend said, “ if our football players can’t take a little internet criticism.. well, I don’t want them on my team!”

Just like it has been mentioned how Dick Sheridan (and that era) was tough vs how in these past years we have seen an ETSU football coach (Randy Sanders) on suspension bc of allegation that he popped a player on the side of his helmet…. America is becoming the land of wussies. This shows ETSU (its a daggum epidemic!)) and every institution is SCARED of litigation and so politically correct.

Here’s the very article. Like I say, I do my research. I have FACTS. When this came out FUBeAR and others agreed that back in the day if Sheridan etc popped you … well, you accepted it and were scared. You certainly didn’t go tell on him. That’s FOOTBALL. Be tough. But hey, I guess today’s players can’t handle it.

I mean as soon as some of todays players - all schools /nationwide - have to fight for a starting position they just transfer ! They want everything easy. Tough at Furman…. “Hey I’ll just leave for an easier academic school and easier football program like Kennesaw State !”

https://footballscoop.com/news/fcs-coac ... t-practice

[apaladin]

My agent, Tom Parker Jr., only requires 50%.

I am getting whispers from the Kennesaw State fan board. They think if I can drum up some mojo then the Owls can improve from the worst team in FBS to not the worst. Its a heady goal, but I think I'd be up to the task. Alas, they haven't indicated there'd be any of that sweet sweet NIL money coming my way.

Bifurcated update: Modest weight gain. Underdeveloped genitalia. Hair still a most unlikely brown.

I’m probably the only one but I got the “Tom Parker,Jr” 50% reference.

[FUTex]

Nah, I think many folks know who Col. Tom Parker was.

Bifurcated update: I got a pair of needle nose pliers and pried out his retracted privates. I think we're getting set for a darn good season.

[FUTex]

I see the problem with our OL. I am embarrassed I didn't see it earlier.

A good offensive line has large men with unpronounceable surnames that end in a vowel. Think Kowczinzki or Lapriezka or Papakinalaou. A Kowalski or a Lachinski is acceptable, as is a long Samoan name with repetitive syllables.

The Paladin offensive line has all but one easily pronounced name. All but one. Worse, all but one end in a consonant. This is a major problem.

Bifurcated update: He's quite happy today. Valve half closed.

[FUATT]

I've been meaning to bring this up, and I feel like it's of particular importance before we carry on with the pressing topic at hand...

Are we talking about possums or opossums? To this point, the marsupial in question has been the possum. In this day and age, money is tight for most programs in the FCS so it doesn't make much sense to be importing possums from Australia, New Zealand, or China when we have a seemingly endless supply of opossums here in the upstate. Also opossums, being larger and having a hairless tail, seem to be better suited for the firecracker experiment than the smaller bushtail possum. I just want to make sure we're being smart about this and there are no errors due to differences in how we name the above mentioned marsupials. The 2025 season potentially depends on this.

Now, back to the less serious stuff...

I hope that means Stephens waiver has been approved (I have no idea if they would have handled it that quickly). Getting Stephens back would be huge for next year.

With Odom and Gonzalez going into the portal, there are not many QB's coming back with a full year of starting experience (meaning they have 11-12 starts). Crittendon is probably the most experienced QB returning at this point. I guess if Wofford sticks with Sealy he's played a decent amount but not sure how many starts. He's been in and out of the lineup. VMI has several guys with around 1/3 of a year of starting experience at this point I think. Shannon is probably the best of the 3 but he can't seem to stay healthy. Not sure what citadel will do. Maybe another portal guy. One of the young guys from ETSU played a little but I would think the new coach will go after a portal QB there as well. UTC will likely go with Schomberg. WCU would go with Dickens with how the year ended most likely. Mercer most likely sticking with Newbauer, and Furman will have Hedden or Jones most likely who both have 0.5-1 year of starts.

Ok so it sounds like we are not sure about Xavier Stephens? Is that right? Seemed to be a little back and forth there? I sure hope we get him back. Great player.

Super glad to see that Odom left Wofford !!! It appears he is officially gone and at KSU. please correct me if I am wrong !!! That one makes my day. They were a better team with Odom

My understanding is we might not know about X for some time.